Chicken Little News on Sale

A barking dog and Tom-Dick-and-Harry howling cats kept me awake all night so at dawn, I, in a rambling morning way, went to the Supermarket. The Sandpaper™ Chicken breast tenderloins were on sale for $3.99 a pound. That’s the good news.
    (But before the bad news, talking dogs are always a good topic.
Q. What does the dog say when she walks over sandpaper?
A. Rough, rough, err ruff, grrr, spell check.
Q. What does the dog say when she wants you to get the cat off the top of the house?
A. Roof, roof.
Q. What does she say when people do extravagant supplications before the King?
A. Bow wow.)
    But I had wanted to read the review of a re-make of Tennessee Williams’ “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” and a barking dog told me I should rush to the Supermarket to get chicken cutlets on sale.
    I went to the local “Shoppy Food Masque™” store to contemplate how I would make a gourmet chicken dish cheap. I thought that before I decided how much to buy that I should go to the back of the store where they have a portal to an Alternate Universe where I could consult with a wise chef who’d give me a good recipe with cheap ingredients.
    But I couldn’t remember the password. It had something to do with “guts”.
    So I went back to the show case for cutlets to get my chicken breast tenderloins on sale for only $3.99 a pound weight. But they didn’t have them, and I thought maybe it was some sort of bait-and-switch subterfuge. But I didn’t feel like putting bait on a hook and catching some deluxe fish in the Supermarket special fun tank (catch a fish and you get it for free after paying for a fishing license and a lobster.)
    The good news was that I remembered that the password was “tenderloin.” So I went to the back of the store and entered an Alternative Universe.
    The sage gave me a recipe, but no chicken cutlets.
    Sometimes you just can’t rely on talking dogs to bark up the right tree.

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8 thoughts on “Chicken Little News on Sale

  1. This is awesome. I kinda got lost and re-read it and feel like I’m dreaming. I think it’s the wine I drank making it hard for me to follow thought trains. But i did notice that there might be a misspelling. Ingredients was spelled ‘ingrediants’?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’ve noticed that when Kvizee Doug goes into an Alternate Universe his spelling abilities worsen. I’ve learned not to lett that happpen to me. Yeah, it’s difficult to findd the right & left Ingredients. It’s good that you could help out. Piece and no war. Make lovely the day. And as they say in Latin, “Carpe Diem” which I think means “finger the day and don’t get carpal tunnel syndrome at the light at the end of the tunnel.” Those Latin phrases were very short but dense in meaning…

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thanks for the ingredients I needed for the post. I always forget to buy the right vowel and seem to spin the wheel at random… yeah, I almost did randim and would have rum away into the dim light of din…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome! I’ll share my ingredients with you anytime. I crashed my car yesterday. No one was hurt but my front left corner is smashed up. And my headlight is broken. I’m a little sad about it and kind of shook up still.

        Liked by 1 person

    3. Oh no. I’m sorry to hear you’re all shook up. Oh, that was an Elvis song I think (I’m All Shook Up), but I don’t think it was about a car crash. I still can’t figure out why they have air bags in cars, but they don’t have a simple force field around the car with vertical take-off. It really could be quite simple in this year 2217… oops, typo… at least typo accidents are less upsetting, although sometimes they feel like car wrecks.
          I’m glad you’re not physically hurt. “never a dull moment” as they say… oh I guess there are dull moments but they’re not so good either. I hope you weren’t hit by a self-driving car: it’s hard to know who to blame with those.
          [I was looking for the reply button directly below your comment and there wasn’t any so I accidentally pushed the “like” button. I didn’t mean “like” exactly, just “I hear you” or something but there is no button for that. Anyway, they don’t nest the replies on a second level and it didn’t seem like I should be replying to myself.]

      Like

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