Entry 133


I have reached my apartment safely, but I wasn’t sure I would. I had been relieved that after the subway spiraled up on the inside walls of my apartment building, that it would complete the journey. It drove into the dual false elevator shaft with ease, docking and connecting to the secret door of the elevator car on my floor. It was built this way because there’s not enough space in my apartment for a subway train, and it would be too noisy.

But now I have reached my bed, I’m exhausted, and I’m trying to fall asleep listening to the radio, but they keep reporting a Press Conference where the President’s spokesperson keeps saying in different ways, “It would be wise if you would not keep spreading gossip. Let me comment on the two preposterous tales. There are no missile launches from the South Pole, and there are no lava vents opening up on the floor of the Atlantic Ocean. Check your facts, and if you consult with the experts listed on the hand-out (page 35) you will see that it is impossible. Now the administration wants to get back to work for the American people and the children, dogs, cats, and other cute things. As you may remember, the Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan developed the ‘Gross National Happiness’ Index to measure the performance of a government. King Wangchuk had said instead of determining progress with Gross Domestic Product (GDP), one should consider a statistic called ‘Gross National Happiness (GNH)’. However, we have developed a similar but better index: the Gross Cuteness Index. Check out the panda bear photo on page 2. Now, no more questions.”

I’m turning off the radio and going to sleep.


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